Stress isn't always the enemy

Many of the systems in our body need stress to grow. Actually... a ton of systems do! Our bones need impact to become stronger. Our heart needs intense, strenuous exercise to avoid heart hardening. Our cardiovascular system needs the stress of exercise to stay healthy. Our lungs and other organs need the challenge of exercise to become stronger and increase capacity. Our muscles get stronger under weight-training stress; they literally tear and rebuild stronger (that fact will never stop blowing my mind)! Our body is designed to get stronger, to adapt with stress and the strenuous activities that we do.

But for some reason, we assume the brain is different.

Before I go on, I want to clarify: chronic stress and acute intense stress are not good for your physical or mental health.

Now that that is out of the way, let me explain why some levels of stress are actually helpful for your body, your nervous system, and your mental health.

Let me give you a quick rundown about the window of tolerance (Siegel, 1999).

Your window of tolerance is the zone where your nervous system feels safe and regulated, your ventral vagal state. It's basically how much stress you can handle. When you are in your window of tolerance, you can usually think clearly, engage in social situations, breathe easier, experience calm, feel present, and on and on. It's where most of us want to be, but it feels like we take vacations there rather than live there (if this doesn't resonate with you, consider yourself one of the lucky ones). Many things negatively impact your window of tolerance: chronic stress, anxiety, trauma, lack of sleep, hormones, hunger, etc. When stress, trauma triggers, or overwhelming emotions push you outside that window, your nervous system shifts into either hyperarousal (fight or flight activation) or hypoarousal (freeze or shutdown).

This understanding of how the nervous system operates and shifts between states is grounded in Stephen W. Porges' Polyvagal Theory, which explains how our nervous system scans for safety and threat and organizes our responses accordingly. One of many goals of somatic work is to widen that window so you can tolerate more stress without tipping into dysregulation.

Created with care by Empower & Embody Wellness LLC | Sydnee Mata, LCSW, Certified Somatic Practitioner | This worksheet is based on the Window of Tolerance concept by Dan Siegel and incorporates insights from Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory.

Let's dive in... how could stress possibly be good for you?

Here's the thing- what you do before, during, and after moments of stress is extremely important. By intentionally regulating during the day, you are maintaining a healthy nervous system. By noticing what stress feels like in the body during periods of activation, you are creating necessary awareness. By tuning in and regulating in moments of stress, you are mitigating the impact of the stress in the moment! How cool is that? Regulating after stress and intentionally dropping back into your window of tolerance help to train your nervous system. We call this vagal toning or "hardening your nervous system" as I like to call it. So do you see how these moments of stress are actually opportunities for us to increase our window of tolerance?

I like to tell my clients to "sandwich" stressful moments with some good ol' nervous system regulation. Let's say you have a stressful meeting at 8am. Maybe you get more sleep than usual so your window is as wide as it can be, you wake up slowly, and don't get on social media or the news (stay informed, but wait until a bit later). You drink a glass of water, and then make your coffee and sit outside for ten minutes. Or you choose to listen to calming music while getting ready. Maybe you decide to do a body scan before signing onto your computer. You see where I'm going with this? You have options!

Set your nervous system up for success.

Here's why this matters: when you proactively regulate before the stressor, you're giving your nervous system a head start. You're arriving at that meeting with a wider window of tolerance, more resources, and better capacity to handle activation. Then, during the meeting, can you extend your exhales? Maybe soften your gaze or help drop your shoulders down as you exhale. You're using micro-regulation techniques to stay as regulated as possible during the stressor. After this stressful meeting, maybe you decide to take a five-minute walk listening to calming music and take deep breaths. Or maybe make your favorite cup of tea or just close your eyes and take 3 nourishing breaths.

The beautiful part is, this doesn't have to be fancy or time-consuming. It doesn't have to be a full yoga practice or a thirty-minute meditation. It can be as simple as five minutes outside, one glass of water, or three deep breaths. Start where you are. Again, you have options (which we love).

You can sandwich any stressful moment this way. A difficult conversation with a friend. A deadline at work. A medical appointment. A family gathering. The principle stays the same.

In addition to regulating, we want to build a tolerance for discomfort. When we start to anticipate activation or begin to feel the discomfort of activation, we usually become even more activated. What I'm saying is that our activation feeds off of our activation. If we can build our tolerance in sitting with the discomfort, then the discomfort won't bring us quite as much distress and can allow us to lean into resourcing, regulating, and safety more easily.

And here's the good news: it won't always take a lot of effort.

Your body wants to regulate. It's designed to regulate. So when you start practicing these techniques, your nervous system will take to them naturally and habits will just develop on their own. You'll do a stressful thing and suddenly crave a breath or notice your body naturally taking deep breaths. You'll get a strong urge to go for a walk or look out a window. Your nervous system learns what it needs and starts asking for it. That's how powerful this work is.

These are all things a somatic therapist can help you with. If you're not currently seeing one, I highly recommend it (I'm biased, of course).

If you'd like to begin sessions with me, please reach out about scheduling a consultation. I offer virtual somatic therapy sessions via insurance or self-pay in Georgia, Maine, Virginia, Texas, and Washington. I also offer in-person holistic somatic therapy and movement sessions (self-pay only) in Marietta, Georgia.

Whether you're looking to deepen your nervous system awareness, work through trauma, or simply learn to regulate more easily, I'm here to support your journey back to yourself.

Schedule a consultation here!

References:

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. Norton.

Siegel, D. J. (1999). The developing mind: Toward a neurobiology of interpersonal experience. Guilford Press.